I’m glad I did this. I’ve learned that if I ever feel the need for a vacation, I can take one in Chinatown and save the airfare and time zone changes. I’ve learned that, as a writer, I need stimulation. Since having a dog, I’ve tried to write more at home and less at Starbucks. It doesn’t work for me: I write out of activity and input. And I’ve learned that writing is less scary when I do it than when I don’t, but except for those magical times when the Muse is dictating, it’s always scary. It’s creation. It’s putting something on this planet that wasn’t here before.
Yesterday I walked with Forbes, and wrote. ‘Walked Forbes and got a manicure and pedicure, and wrote. ‘Walked Forbes yet again, had dinner in little Italy with my husband — he’s leaving today for work in Bangkok — and my stepson and stepdaughter, visiting from Toronto. And I wrote a little bit more. It keeps coming, shaping, forming itself. I changed the working title. And this morning I’m going to go over the Table of Contents and enliven that. What I have there now is basic, but I want each of the chapter-essays to be a little art piece, infinitely practical, but nevertheless have the capacity to fly.
I’d hoped to press “send” and get the proposal to my agent today, but it’s the weekend and she won’t see it till Monday anyway, so I’m going to keep honing this evening (I’m speaking today at 3 — Integral Yoga Day for Your Health) and a few concentrated hours tomorrow. Then it has to go — imperfections and all. Monday and Tuesday will be whirlwind days getting ready for the August Main Street Vegan Academy session starting Tuesday evening. Once the program begins, we go nonstop (except for sleeping) for 5-and-a-half days. The proposal will be in the hands of my agent and editor and I’ll be focused on the needs of my students and faculty. And then, when they’re graduated and setting off to work wonders in the world, I’ll be the one at Starbucks — in gym clothes, no makeup, corner table near a plug — going from proposal to book. I can’t do it. Never could. But I trust that the Power that’s made its way into this world through writers for a long, long time will do it one more time with me.