Do You Suffer from Vegan Despair? by Carol Miller, VLCE

It crept up on me slowly. Being vegetarian from the time I was 13, and vegan at 40, I was used to being different. And I was OK with it. Proud actually. I was living my life, and what others did was their business. I was a happy herbivore!

And then the creep started happening. I decided to educate myself more about animal agriculture, become an activist, maybe even write a book to help others go vegan. All good stuff, right?

But the more I became immersed, watching and reading everything I could get my hands on, the more horrified I became. I felt compelled to scream from the rooftops, telling everyone about the horrors I had uncovered. Surely if they only knew how cruel the meat and dairy industry were, they would go vegan overnight!

Well, that didn’t happen. And I started feeling that if animals were the victims, which they are, then people who ate them were the perpetrators.

I oscillated between being angry at the world and feeling deeply sad for the animals who were suffering and dying. I was desperate to try to help them all.

But how does one person help a hundred billion animals? I was panicked yet paralyzed at the same time. And I increasingly felt alone in a painful world. My desperation turned to helplessness and hopelessness. This is despair.

I was at the bottom of a dark pit, and I needed to climb out—for my own sake, for the relationships in my life, and for the animals who needed me.

I tried lots of things—reading books about vegan despair, counselling with a vegan therapist, meditation, talking to others who “get” me, working on acceptance.

And it’s helping. But it’s a daily effort. I will always feel sad for the animals who suffer, and challenged by living as a vegan in a non-vegan world. But I now have tools in my vegan despair toolkit. I use them every day.

I’m still an activist, but now it looks different. Rather than screaming from the rooftops, I try to be an example of love and compassion. Rather than criticizing the world, I try to show people how easy it is to eat plant-based. My loving actions are my new activism.

If despair is something you deal with, please get the support and help you need—for your own health and well-being, and for the animals who need us to be strong and active on their behalf. Here are some suggestions that helped me:

1. Read Beyond Beliefs by Dr. Melanie Joy. This book saved me.
2. Avoid over-exposing yourself to images and information that trigger despair.
3. Seek out a vegan therapist who truly understands your unique situation.
4. Practice self-compassion. Accept yourself as one person doing your best. Love yourself more, and you will love others more.
5. Work on your relationships by being open and honest about your struggles, rather than trying to change the people in your life.
6. Work on acceptance of others wherever they are on their journey. See yourself as a leader, teacher and an example, rather than a judge.
7. Practice meditation, which helps you observe, accept and release your feelings.
8. Seek out positive experiences, like spending time with animals, making amazing vegan meals for your family, and joining a vegan community group.

Most importantly, be patient with yourself, and remember that we all deserve compassion: the animals, the people in our life, and certainly ourselves.

 

Carol Miller is a proud Certified Vegan Lifestyle Coach and Educator. She spends her time balancing many passions, including writing TV commercials for charities, enthusiastically helping people go and stay vegan, preparing delicious plant-based meals, and studying vegan nutrition. Carol lives in Toronto, Canada, with her husband and their rescue dog, Mandy. She can be found on Instagram and reached by email.